I have been preparing myself for a week like this. I think I am ready for it. :)
My goal for this week is to give out compliments! I won't be blatantly obvious and giving out compliments left and right. But if there's something I think looks good or I like, I will be nice and give them a compliment. It's something I never think about because I'm too focused on what I am doing at the time. For instance, I am taking two dance classes this term and I get so focused on the moves I have to do and following to the beat of the music. I suck at both, so it takes a lot more brain power to do that. If I try to have a conversation, I am completely off. Well, I'm super rusty right now, but I am getting back on my feet because I absolutely love dancing even though I am no good at it. I also get to dance with 15-20+ girls each class session. So there's no excuse to not see something that I like.
I am taking Ballroom 2 and West Coast Swing 2. I took ballroom 2 last year and it was a lot of fun so I decided to take it again to just dance. West coast swing 1 was also last year at the same time, and I fell in love with that dance but never took the second term. So now I'm rusty and trying to learn more. I have a super kind friend that's willing to help me out and practice. I even got to go to a west coast swing dance session with a free lesson and the lesson happens to be something I really needed to work on!
Also, people have been complimenting me left and right last week on how big my muscles have gotten. All I did was eat and sleep during spring break and came back with compliments lol. Sweet xD haha. I'm super nervous and stoked about this goal. Believe it or not, I am actually a pretty shy guy. I think the first hug I got from a girl was when I was 15 and I remember it so clearly. She took my hug virginity T___T LOL. So let's see how it goes. =]
I will just paste the things that I wrote down each night. It went from the simplest things to really big things. There are some that are a whole 'nother story, but I won't go into details unless you ask haha. That first one, I just felt like writing an extra and giving thanks for it =]
Sunday March 17, 2013 1. God. 2. Getting a free cookie at the library from the staff. 3. Friends that call me "boss" because I'm just boss. 4. Good talk with a friend before leaving the library at night.
Monday March 18, 2013 1. Good talk with a friend at lunch about relationships and reflecting back and looking forward. 2. A friend dropped by the library and gave me a delicious slice of cake. 3. A friend drove to the library and drove me home late at night. He then drove back to the library to start his studying.
Tuesday March 19, 2013 1. KEZI news did an interview with me and got to be on TV. 2. My mom. I called her to just take a break from studying and life. 3. Friends that I can go out to eat with and be real with.
Wednesday March 20, 2013 1. Quietness at my place for me to study. Roommates weren't home or not making noise. 2. Friends to go over questions with when studying. 3. Friend added me to her emailing list that she sends quotes to in the morning.
Thursday March 21, 2013 1. Finding time to play basketball with friends for 3.5 hrs even though I have a morning final next day. 2. Being respected by a lot of friends and people as a great basketball shooter. 3. After 3 cumulative finals in the past 3 days and no sleep in 2 days and no caffeine, I am still going strong and studying hard.
Friday March 22, 2013 1. Celebrating last final by having breakfast with my 'pharmily.' 2. Moving into a new apartment with my friend and getting things ready. So excited for next term! 3. My friend told me I'm attractive and saying she likes (or liked) me. I think she wanted to choose me first over her now bf of 1.5 years.
Saturday March 23, 2013 1. Coming home to an awesome family. 2. Playing basketball with great friends and a friend asked if I've been practicing 'cuz I got much better. 3. Enjoying great home food.
This has been the biggest success of all my goals! It has helped me kept a super positive attitude in the midst of finals week, the breakup, and all of the bad luck I get. I know there were a lot of bad things that happened, but I can't remember anything specific on the top of my head. Each night, I read the three things I was thankful for that day and it helped me do just that... Be thankful. :)
For this next week, my goal is to focus on family. I want to spend time being with my parents while I am at home. I think I'll make it a goal to have more face time with them and be aware that family is first. Obviously if they are not doing anything or have work that day, I will go hang out with my friends if my friends ask to do something.
Anyways, I am in much need of sleep. I am very, very thankful for all of you guys and your support too. :)
I tried to study as much as I can this past week. I tried to eat and study at the same time, but it doesn't work. I need some time to relax and unwind my brain. I kept getting distracted and was unable to focus. I need to socialize less, even with my own classmates. On Friday night, I got together with a different group of people, and they still chat about other stuff, but then get back to work. I think group study is not my way of studying. I need to study alone up until the hour or two before the test...
So this past week has just been super bad altogether because I broke down and almost cried. For the past few weeks, I thought the worst was over, but each week got worse and worse. This whole term has been pretty rough for me, emotionally, with the whole girl problem on the first week of the term. I really liked her, so in my heart, I kept pursuing her. I let her have her space and keep in touch with her very sparingly in hopes that a second chance might come. Obviously not lol. After 8 weeks go by, she finally initiated a text to me and started a conversation. IMO, I think it was a very flirty text. She called me by my nickname that we have when we're together and included exclamation marks and smileys. For most of our prior conversations, there were no smileys and no excitement. Her replies were quick and lengthy and showed a lot of interest. A week later (this past week) was her birthday and I asked her how it was and she responds at the end of the day saying it was good and she was with someone and he took her an hour drive away for dinner and a movie. I left it at that because she even told me herself that this was the case. She told this guy that there is nothing going on between me and her. I know who this guy was awhile ago and it's awkward because he's in my pharmacy class and he's my group member for a term-project next term... Awkward. Anyways, my point is that I am finally convincing myself that I have to let it go. My chances have dropped dramatically. It's finally time to make myself move on. I've moved all of the files and pictures we have together off my computer and I have removed her off my FB today as well. Her and the guy deactivated their FB today too, so she won't even notice.
My mom and I had a 45 minute conversation about girls and stuff on Friday night. I have a lot to learn and I should be patient with myself. The right girl will come along when I'm ready. =]
With all of that going on and a bunch of bad unfortunate events, I haven't been able to focus on studying. On Friday, the day I wrote that letter and convinced myself I'm done, I spent 10 hours at the library and got basically nothing done. Luckily for the last 30 minutes I was there, my classmate spoon-fed me the information and I learned a lot.
Next week's goal is super exciting! I'm pumped. I got the idea from the Lovelyish article on things to do when you're feeling blue. I'm going to be thankful and each night I will write down 3 things that I am thankful for. I have been feeling super bitter about the girl problems this entire term, so I need to build some positivity back into my life. I think this would be a very good way to do it too. Also, if they are people, I can also tell them how thankful I am for them =] My second side goal or task is to write some positive and motivational quotes on sticky notes and post them somewhere I will read. I love inspirational quotes. I like the ones that inspire and motivate you to be a better person. An example is from Spiderman 3: "It's the choices that makes us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right." If I love this girl, I have to let her go and let her find her own happiness. As for the guy, I should be supportive of him and congratulate him. And I will do that. As for life, I will do my best to make the right choices and to do what's right.
This past week's goal was to eat healthy, RELATIVELY! :P
I did pretty good. I ate the two apples in my fridge usually an hour after dinner. I had an oatmeal for breakfast almost every morning and then a banana when I got hungry before lunch. I bought a healthy salad once for lunch. I didn't put sour cream in my burrito but added more lettuce lol. I also bought juice!
My diet before was complete crap. I had panda express for lunch/dinner occasionally throughout the week, carl's jr most of the time, and eat frozen dinners, ramen, or just a bag of chips. I feel much more refreshed and my body feels a lot better. I would consider this kind of successful because I still ate chips and ramen ONCE, but no panda or carl's jr. xD
I hadn't gone home in a long time and my apartment is pretty much out of food. I have a slight break so I'm home this weekend to stock up on food and refuel for dead week and finals week coming up :) It was a last-day decision kind of thing, but my parents are excited that I'm home anyways. They love being able to cook me food and giving me something to eat haha. I told them to cook me more vegetables and bring me more fruits! So I'm given apples, bananas, yogurt, and lots of oatmeal :) More healthy dieting ahead, yay!
So this next week's goal is going to be super difficult for myself. I'm not sure how well it'll benefit me, or if at all, or if the task is even possible at all. But I'm going to focus on school and think about the stuff I'm learning... Like, all day. It's hard to explain, but the idea is that if I'm always thinking about the material and what I'm studying, then I'll be studying all day in my head and then studying before finals won't be so bad. With my first gf, this is essentially what I did because the only thing I did was study or hang out with her and she would be studying too. Sometimes our talks would involve school and just discussing about things haha. I'm such a total nerd and I think this goal solidifies that xD HAHAHA.
To accomplish a goal like this, I would have to clear my mind of all other things. I should think less about games, basketball, friends, facebook, and internet-related activities. Just for this week, I am going to focus intensely on school. Review after lecture, review during a meal, review every day.. When my mind wanders off, I'll try to focus back on school. This week should be a great week for this goal because finals is the following week. Whether this works or not, hopefully it will improve my studying >_< This is just an experiment, so we'll see how it goes!
So my goal for the past week has been to stay positive and not stress out about things going on in life. Stuff happens and it's wasted energy to complain about things that are out of your control, especially if it has already happened. Going into the week with that mentality, mother nature decided to be the biggest troll and crap all over me, hahaha.
So the first biggest 'obstacle' was over a silly game of Candyland. It was my first time playing and we were at the library working on our project and we needed the game of Candyland. So we got the game and decided to play it just for fun. The game kept trolling me everywhere!! I would lose a turn, I would always go back near the beginning, and I would always be last. I think we played 8 times and I was last almost every time. There was one turn where I got the 'ice cream' on the first draw and it put me all the way near the finish line, and then I got a ginger bread the next turn, which put me all the way at the beginning! I kept my cool the entire time and just laughed with all of my friends. Nobody likes to lose, but it was a silly game and I thought to myself about my goal. I decided to just have fun and have a good laugh instead. All of my friends, including me, laughed ourselves silly until our face hurt =] I was so proud of myself afterwards.
The next night, I decided to sleep early because I was so tired. I fell asleep at 11pm, the earliest I have ever slept in many weeks. I woke up the next morning and walked out my door and the chain on my bike lock is cut and my bike is gone! I thought to myself, "REALLY?!" But kept my cool and didn't get upset about it. I went to class and went about my day. Posted it on FB, but didn't really talk to too many people about it. I let it go and just went about my day. I didn't cry over it, or get angry, or upset. It was just, "oh shoot, my bike is gone. Well, nothing I can really do but just look out for it and I doubt it'll show up anyways." Ah, there are evil people in the world... and I think everyone has a dark side to them, but they learn to deal with it by the lessons they have learned in life. Some people don't learn the lesson.
Also, I'm getting sick AGAIN, right after a week that my previous sickness ended. T__T Well, it's been 3 days and I still have a sore throat. Maybe it'll be a really minor cold, but still. I am getting sick once again haha. Another thing was my internet going out several times in the week. I ended up shutting off my laptop, do a little studying that doesn't need the computer and then going to bed. Instead of raging about bad internet and not being able to talk with my friends on Skype, I decided to be a little productive. My friends will still be there in the morning =]
I would say it has been a very successful week. The worst stuff seems to happen to me right when I decide to not get upset about stuff. I think it was a test, and I would consider myself passing because I didn't lose my cool :)
My goal for next week is to eat healthy. I plan to drink water constantly throughout the day and eat at places that serve fruits and vegetables. My breakfast should be a nice and healthy meal. I also should not be skipping any meals either. I need to eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and snack in between when I'm hungry. This isn't a hardcore dieting regimen. It's just an awareness to eat more healthy foods in general, or just be eating in general as well because I get so busy sometimes that I skip meals. Maybe by doing this, I might not get as sick xD